Hopefully, this distance has made your heart for me grow fonder...

I'll be honest (what's new), I've been avoiding this again because I didn't want to write another alf-hassed post just to say I posted something. [Speaking of "alf-hassed," one of my teachers is really funny and likes to say "bass-ackwards" instead of... the alternative. She said her grandfather used to say it. Gotta love grandfathers. *Wow!, Dang!, Dadgum your hide!, Dagnabbit!, and so many more] Anyyyywayyyy, I don't really feel like I have anything important or pertinent to lecture about or get off my chest, soooo, I'm just going to do a "craft update." You know me, always craftin' somethin'. But before I do, I would like to clarify that despite what you all may think, no, I'm not a creative genius or virtuoso (Blogger just tried to tell me that "virtuosa" isn't a word. Really, Blogger? Look it up! It's the feminine version of "virtuoso" you incorrigible imbecile!... Always tryin'a tell me how to spell. I'm the English Master!) But, I digress, again. Regarding my creative endeavors that I display on my blog, I must make sure you know that almost all of my ideas are stolen. *GASP*... I know. But before you renounce your interest in me, call this an abomination, and promptly close out of this window in sheer astonishment, calm down. I assure you I don't strictly copy anything. I just know what I like and I would rather make things myself than buy them; and, I like to "tweak" them until I get them the way I want them. Everything I've done is in some way different than what I got the idea from. For example, one of the following cork boards has a "definition" of the South, which I took from something I'd seen in a store, and I edited/altered parts of the "definition" to relate it to my South. Ok, enough chit-chat. Here they are:

The cork boards, which (according to Clayton) might go in our kitchen, and will probably be used to display some pictures, notes, lists, etc. After all, I didn't do them on cork board for nothing. Oh, and "The South" one isn't done yet, so I'll probably put a picture of it up when it is.



And the dresser for my room, which will be followed my the "refurbishing" of a side table for the den and the kitchen table and chairs.

"Britain shoulda just left us alone..."

This weekend (God bless America) I hung out with some friends that I hadn't seen in a while, so that was nice. Also, Clayton and I bought a couch! for 200$ less than it originally was! and it's a sleeper sofa so we can have over-night guests from out of town or whatever. Also, Amelia, Clayton, and I went for Round 2 of our photo-shoots in which we take pictures of really cool places around this town and nonchalantly make our way into 90% of the shots. What can I say, the camera loves us... HA. Anyway, it started raining and even though I insisted that those conditions would make for a lot of neat pictures, the other two took off running for the car before I could spit it out... [that happens a lot because I stutter a lot]. Also, my dad informed me that the band he and his friends created in high school had two different names depending on the venue/occasion: one was "The Saddle Tramps" and the other was "The Choosey Mothers"... (as in "Choosey Moms choose Jif.")  Wow Dad, those are the kind of revelations that remind me I never had a chance... I was destined to be a ridiculous human being.

My friend's lake house has a
murdered giraffe on the wall.
That poor thing never hurt
nobody... :( 

Our couch!!!!

I'm actually starting to enjoy laughing
at how miserably I fail every time I take
a "candid" picture...

This is a desk I just finished for my room. It was my brothers and I didn't like how "modern" it looked so I decided to "crackle" it.

More project updates to come.

This is about to get REAL sentimental y'all...

So, I've been looking at pictures on Facebook, which almost never leads to any pleasant feelings. Honestly, I rarely look at Facebook anymore because if I get a "notification," it's sent to my phone (on which I don't like to look at pictures/profiles because it's slower than molasses) and if I'm on my computer, my time spent on FB usually doesn't last more than 2 minutes after recollecting that I either don't care to brief myself on other people's lives or I don't want to look at pictures that will undoubtedly awaken in me any suppressed resentment. BUT, today, on my "news feed," I saw that a friend, Holly, recently got engaged; so, naturally, I had to attempt to vicariously experience it through the pictures. Looking at these pictures inevitably led me to explore other mutual friends' profiles/pictures, which all led to a catharsis of sorts over the displacement of all of these people I love.
I've never been the type to have a lot of friends, always just a few close ones. I think this is partly because, when it comes to purely platonic friendships, I'm always really bad at keeping in touch. Honestly, if it weren't for Clayton being my connection to the outside world, I would probably forget there is one. I'm probably the least "thoughtful" person I know, which I find too ironic because seemingly all of my time is spent in an incessantly intricate stream of consciousness. I don't know what I'm thinking about all of the time, but apparently it isn't about maintaining healthy relationships with the people I love. In essence, if you're my friend (platonically), you will probably almost never get a phone call or text message saying "Hey, how are you?... What's been going on?... What's new..." etc. [On the contrary, if you are of the male race and you've ever ignored me or "accidentally" forgotten to answer me, then I can attest that I probably relentlessly continued trying to contact you until, finally, my "out of sight, out of mind" mechanism kicked in; and if it didn't kick in, well, I'm sorry... I guess. I seem to be one of those who "likes the chase," although I've been informed that is usually a male characteristic, so I can't explain the source of that.] I also cannot for the life of me explain the aforementioned phenomenon, but I can assure you (friends) it has nothing to do with how much I love you.
I say all of that [which was probably unnecessary] to emphasize how much I care about the friends that I do choose to have, despite my lack of correspondence; and, lately, most of my friends have been leaving {to go on trips, or get a job, or get married, etc.}. Seriously, I could give a relatively long list. But the ones that won't be coming back are the ones that I'm writing to today. So this is my attempt at "thoughtfulness."
It all started with Meagan and Anna being the coolest people I knew in high school. Yep, I remember my first YL and getting to know you two over that next year and a half. You always made us feel special even though you both are the type of people who know everyone and constantly have someone competing for your attention because everyone loves you. You and all the other leaders showed us that being the person God made us to be (which means not sinning like a impulsive, uncontrollable heathen) is the way to live. Soon, we were all right there with you in college; and, when I did my whole attempt at YL Quest and found myself realizing how truly horrible I am at talking to people and making friends, Holly was right there to make me feel like less of a socially inept loser. And when Meagan, Anna, and Holly were all moving away, they didn't just abandon me; they gave me Hannah, because they knew I would need someone who's as awesome as they are to be a good influence on me.
Well now all 4 of you are in super serious relationships {married, getting married, or on your way to it} and you're all grown up... and it's weird. But seriously, Anna, I remember when you started dating Brian and when I got to hear about the newly romantic little details on the way to watch Hannah F.'s tennis match. And Meagan, I remember feeling privileged in knowing the ups and downs of that certain relationship you had that certain time... well now it seems that you got yourself a real winner! Woo! haha. And Holly I don't know your newly acquired fiance but he looks awesome, so congratulations :). And Hannah, well, I guess I kind of like Marc, I mean, he's okay. :D hahaha
This probably would've gone a lot better/shorter if I had just written each of you separately, but I don't think before I do things, so I'm gonna wrap it up. In conclusion, the time I had with y'all wasn't enough and never will be. I could never get enough of all of your wonderful selves and you'll always be "the coolest people I know." I'll always wish I had gotten more pictures with you and always wish I had known you even better, but God only gave us a certain amount of time and I thank Him every time I think of you guys because I wouldn't be the same person if I hadn't known you. You and I will probably never know how greatly you impacted my life but I'm just glad to be able to say I know you. : )

LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!!!

It's Happening Again...

One of the tactics Satan uses to try and break me down when I'm doing my best to walk along the straight and narrow is bitterness. This bitterness, which I'm easily susceptible to,  has also been known to subsequently cause other defects in my behavior or sentiment. It's little whispers like "it's not worth it," "even the good ones suck at being friends," "this is boring me to death; there's nothing to do," etc., and I used to give in to those fallacies and go back to the "heavily traveled, wide road" where at least there was seemingly always something to do and someone to see. But not this time, Satan, because, yes, I am the "live and learn from your mistakes" kind of person; but, the thing is, I have "lived" and, more importantly, learned, more than enough times, and for this particular lesson, I think I'm good and done, thanks.

This has taken me a while to write because I couldn't decide what I actually wanted to write and what was probably best to leave out... And believe me, I've left out a lot, mostly words that would only come from that bitterness I was talking about; and, even if those words are true, it would probably only hurt people. But I will say this: I've never really been one to have to "swallow my pride" because I've never really had a problem with pride, which I consider a relatively good thing seeing as how God hates pride; BUT one thing that I have consistently lacked throughout my life is self-respect, and that is one thing that I am probably going to be working on for the rest of my life.
So how about we let this be my first official example of my initiative to actively demonstrate respect for myself:
I'm not putting myself "out there" with this certain "group" of people anymore, because after trying time and time again to establish my own relationship with you and not continue relying on the mutual one we have through my actual friends, I'm done. I know I won't see you or hear from you until our mutual friends return home from their summer missions. I'm sure we'll all inevitably end up at the same place and I'll try to pretend like I think you're amusing or interesting at all and like we have anything in common other than the fact that we're Christians and are doing our best to be good ones. But clearly you're not interested in me or my friendship since there has been no effort to communicate on your part, therefore, I'll stop trying to establish one.

P.S. I know (partly from your lack of concern for me) that you won't even read/see this, but I feel better just having written it down. See ya when I see ya.

In conclusion, this is not bitterness and, no, I have not given into those temptations. Things are not black and white, and just because people aren't perfect doesn't mean I should give up on trying to live my life the way God has intended. People will never be perfect and they will always let you down, but God won't, because He is perfect. So I'm continuing this relatively well behaved streak that I have going and I'm doing it for God, because I want to please Him, not people.

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears...

... OH!.......... and elephants, and maned wolves, and chimpanzees, and snakes... But I digress...

They were pretty lackadaisical...

But who wouldn't be in this
forsaken heat.

Two of the shenanigans that Clayton and I got into this weekend were a visit to the zoo and a visit to Redneckville, or, more specifically, shooting guns with Clayton's brother and his friend. I had never shot a shotgun before, so that was a new experience. They're not kidding when they say it kicks... Say I did have good aim and did know what I was doing, well by the time I pull the trigger, that's all gone to crap. It kicks me so far off balance that the chance those little pellets have of even grazing that skeet is so remote, it's unfair. Where they're going and where that little soaring skeet is going are so ghastly transverse, it's kind of scary. Now, to clarify, I was made aware about 3/4 of the way through that I had been looking through the wrong eye (closing the wrong one). Upon correcting this, I was astonished at how much easier it was to aim... but I still missed, despite shooting 3 consecutive rounds at the same fleeting target... But hey, Clayton got one!... using that same overkill method, I believe... At least it worked for somebody.

I can't rightly say, sir. Just us feeding
our narcissism's appetite.